Muchas Cosas Para Recordar...

I just got back from going out to dinner at an amazing Mexican restaurant in Panama City and I’m finally in a relaxed mood to update this blog! Going out to eat was just what I needed. My friend and I spoke in Spanish. I savored every wonderful spicy authentic Mexican food flavor of my empanadas con frijoles. But most importantly, I finally felt that I live here, and it was something more than knowing my way to the restaurant and speaking the language. I believe it was the independence of our dinner. Most of the time in SIT we travel as a group with pre-planned activities, which can start to feel a little like a perpetual class field trip. Going off on our own helped me finally feel like I lived here because it was something that I would do at home, and I’ve learned that it’s always the little things you never thought you’d miss that you miss the most about home.

For example, I miss non-Panamanian food more than I’d ever imagined. I am glad I have tried traditional Panamanian food (it’s all I ate last week during my rural homestay – which I promise I’ll get to describing soon), but at this point I’m sorry to admit I am not a fan of “comida típica.” Fried bread, oily tortillas, arroz con carne, sancocho (chicken soup). It often feels like a contest to see who can eat the most carbs the fastest. The only saving graces of Panamanian food I have found so far are yucca (when it’s not fried, which is rare) and the fruit (pineapple, papaya, mandarins). Sadly mangoes and avocados are not in season. Since I’ve had my share of Panamanian food, I’ve had plenty of American food cravings: ice cream, chocolate, raw vegetables, hummus. All of these are explainable and thank god for Deli Gourmet which lets me satisfy these. However, I also really started craving toasted bagels with cream cheese, something I don’t even like very much in the US, which I can’t really explain and should try to avoid because I definitely do not need to eat any other forms of toasted bread. I also am surprised by the lack of beans in the Panamanian diet, which is disappointing. This brings me back to how happily full I am right now after having refried beans with dinner for the first time in a month!

Despite having been here for a month, there are still moments when I find myself wondering what I’m doing sitting here sweating like I just dove into a swimming pool and swatting at the mosquitoes who don’t seem to understand that I’ve already coated myself in insect repellant (For the record, I even have a mosquito bite on my eyelid - that mosquito deserves some sort of award)! I definitely hit a wall of homesickness this weekend, but my week in the rural village of Loma Bonita was absolutely incredible and I’m excited to finally be in a good state of mind and have enough free time to recount it.

I had no idea what to expect when our van of groggy students pulled up to the little church in Loma Bonita last Saturday afternoon.  The students sat on one side of the room. The host families on the other. Slowly we were introduced and then suddenly an elderly woman of about my height with a wrinkled round face and warm eyes was helping me carry my daypack while I trekked alongside her carrying my backpack up an endless hill. Thankfully we managed to catch a car (well, a pick-up truck with a cloth covering and makeshift benches in the back) that took up all the way up the hill to her house.

My homestay mother was María and she had five children and eight grandchildren. She had spent her whole life living in Loma Bonita, and her whole family still lived on the same hillside, with the exception of a few children who had moved to Panama City to find work. They lived very simple lives, in a house built of rock by María’s late husband, with no electricity during the day and only a small “moto” to run one light and a tiny television for a few hours at night. Here you can see the kitchen, where I became accustomed to eating traditional Panamanian food (especially exorbitant amounts of rice) while studying the trail of ants meandering up the wall in front of the table.

This was the view from their porch, which was always beautiful.

Then there were the multitude of chickens, chicks, dogs, puppies, bunnies, doves, and one horse that also lived with them. The chicks would walk everywhere – I often found myself eating lunch with chicks chirping at my feet. The funniest thing they did was that one night I saw a chick standing on top of the pile of sleeping puppies to eat bugs off of them. It looked quite adorable, despite probably being uncomfortable for the puppies.

They were so eager to get to know me just as they were eager to share their lives with me. We spent a good amount of time looking through my photo album of pictures from home and I enjoyed telling them about my family, friends, hometown, university, and New York City.  Only after I left did I realize how incredibly kind and welcoming they were to want to know as much as they could about my life and to be willing to fully accept me into theirs.

This was my bedroom, which was very nice since all other members of the family shared beds and some kids even slept on two chairs pushed together with a pillow on top. I later learned that this was the bedroom of the oldest grandson, Samuel, who was 13 years old and imitated everything his Uncle Hil (Hilberto) did because he rode a motorcycle, traveled long distances every day to work in the city of Coclé, and was basically the epitome of a “cool uncle.” Samuel helped me make a family tree on the first night I stayed there. I was journaling in my room with a pink Madagascar movie-themed pencil given to me by one of the kids when my pen ran out of ink, when suddenly the two little girls walked in with a hot pink electronic “diario” and asked me to put in my name and address and email and phone number into their fake contact book and then play a treasure hunt video game with them. At some point they got bored of the game and started asking me questions and I took the opportunity to ask them things as well. What’s your favorite color? What games do you like to play? What’s your favorite food? It was at this point where I suddenly was no longer tired and anxious to finish journaling because I was learning a lot just by talking with them, and the older girl was very patient with me and would repeat words that I told her I didn’t recognize. When we got to the favorite food question the younger girl started telling me about how she loves “emme-emmes.” I asked her what they were and she started describing colorful pieces of chocolate with soft chocolate inside. I got excited and started to take out the book where I write down new vocab words. I told her I couldn’t wait to try this Panamanian candy and I asked her how to spell it. She just looked at me blankly before repeating, “emme-emmes.” And then it hit me. She was describing M&Ms. I had a lot to learn.

At that moment, Samuel returned from his day trip to Coclé with his uncle and joined the fiesta in my room. Then we went through the whole family tree because I was having trouble remembering everyone’s names. They all have shortened names, and then nicknames on top of that (for instance Ilda was also called Nena), which was very confusing with eight little kids with multiple names running around!

María’s children from oldest to youngest are Mierna, Tony, Jessica, Hilberto, and Maribel. Mierna was Samuel’s mother and also the mother of Titi and Eli (two adorable little five-ish year olds), and they all lived in the back room of María’s house (which had a second kitchen and a concrete playroom for the kids). Tony was married to Raquel and was the father of Chacho (a quiet, adorable little boy around 6 years-old), and they lived together just downhill in a two room concrete house with the horse tethered to a tree just outside. Jessica was the mother of Ilda (a thoughtful and patient eight year-old, who would often grab my hand and lead me somewhere saying “Come, I’ll teach you!”) and Tito (an adorable but often whiney little boy around two years old, Ilda always held his hand wherever they went). Maribel was the youngest daughter of María and was only 21 years old but had a three year old daughter, Senai, who had endless energy and courage, but also was the biggest trouble-maker I’ve ever met. I saw Maribel and Mierna’s husband’s on occasion, but they worked so far away (because there are no jobs in Loma Bonita so the men always travel far away to work) that they were rarely home. Finally, there was Angi, a seven year old girl who knew how to get her way but was also Ilda’s best friend. I’m still not sure who her parents were but she lived with her grandma so I think there was another child of María working in the city that I never met. Here are some pictures of all of my wonderful Loma Bonita family!

 From left to right: Senai, Angi, and Ilda while we were playing cards. They always asked me why I smiled in pictures.

 Ilda, me, Chacho, and Maribel when we went to help sort the garbage we collected.

From left to right: Jessica (back) holding Tito, Mierna, me, Ilda, Eli, Titi, and Angi

From left to right: Samuel (back), Titi (sitting on the railing), Angi, Eli, and Ilda

The next morning, I made tortillas, bollos (tortillas rolled and wrapped in sugar cane leaves for flavor) and coffee with María and Mierna, and they were very eager to help me take pictures and were extremely proud of the “natural” process of making them, and rightfully so.  The dough for the tortillas was nothing more than cooked corn ground up with some salt. Despite repetitive foods, everything was directly from the backyard, with the exception of the rice. I have never had fresher, yellower eggs before I came there.

Each sister also had their own craft to sell. Maribel taught me how to make earrings from empty beer can tops, Mierna showed me how to make little bunnies out of cloth to mount on soap dispensers, and I ended up buying a hand-knit purse made by Jessica using empty beer can tops. María was adamant and patient about teaching me how to “tejer” (weave). They use this pattern with a certain plant to make Panama hats and also bracelets. It was very had but I quickly learned that “suelto” meant “loose” and I found myself repeating her instructions to myself under my breath in Spanish as I tried to make my weaving pattern tighter.

While I learned a lot from my host mother and her grown children, the little kids were incredible friends and teachers during that week and I cannot thank them enough. Samuel got a popular “plena” (the Panamanian word for reggaeton) song stuck in my head by singing it over and over again. Angi helped me remember the word “contraseñas” (password) by always asking me to play with her electronic diary. Ilda taught me the word “foco” (flashlight) during our late night conversations.  Senai helped me practice informal commands: “Don’t jump on the bed! Share with the others! Play nicely! Come over here! Give me the stick…” I was most amazed at how freely and creatively they used a combination of old toys, sticks, and even parts of the house to entertain themselves. At some point on the second day, I was overwhelmed when the kids started chasing the chickens around, and one was crying because someone had stolen her stick, and another was screaming, and another was stomping on the ground to herd the chickens and I just wandered off into my room to try and regain my sanity. After that María suggested we go visit some other students who lived uphill and it was the best idea she could have had. Seeing them and sharing stories of confusion and hysterical miscommunications was just the pick-me-up I needed to refresh myself for the rest of the week.  It was also touching to realize that the kids all really liked me as they flocked around me and constantly wanted to show me things or ask me questions.  We walked back to their house in the pitch darkness with María and I carrying flashlights, and at one point I happened to look up and see the incredible starry night sky above. For me the stars hold many nostalgic memories, from high school, college, and home, and to see them more brilliantly than ever before here in the rural highlands of Panama was incredible. I told this to Maribel and she immediately suggested I take a photo. I told her it probably wouldn’t come out, but she had complete faith in the magical ability of my camera’s flash function. I can’t get myself to delete this picture because it reminds me of how caring Maribel was  that she would spend a good five minutes straining her neck to try to take pictures of stars for me, all while Senai clung to her back and protested the sudden change in incline. I never thought a picture of a single bright squiggle would bring me so much joy.

Then we left Loma Bonita for a quick trip to Penonomé to celebrate Carnival. There are no words to describe that day except “completamente loco.” I still can’t believe Carnival celebrations continue for four straight days and nights! I was finished with my share of Carnival after just a few hours. Here is a picture of the crowd we were in during the “mojadera” (a giant street fair where people line up in crowds packed like sardines to dance and get soaked by giant water trucks). The parade afterwards was nice to see the traditional masks that they make for the celebration, as well as the intricate float designs for the queens who are selected for each town to lead the Carnival celebrations. Our day at Carnival was exhausting, but was great to immerse ourselves in one of the most iconic celebrations of Panama.

Afterwards, we returned to Loma Bonita and remained there for three more days, picking up garbage with the community (there is no garbage disposal so littering is a huge problem), swimming in waterfalls, and spending more time with our families.

We learned about the hydroelectric dams that were planning on building new dams on the rivers that brought fish through the community and the resulting protests to prevent such construction. We also heard more of the history of the community and how increasing globalization and modernization had shrunk the number of residents, as more and more people left in search of work in cities. During that time I also got better at weaving, helped Maribel and Hil pick “toronjas” (grapefruits), and talked with my host family about topics from the economy and government of Panama, to the “I Love Lucy” television show they always watched at night.

I also met one of their neighbors, Mariano, who told me about his involvement in Sustainable Harvest International, a program to promote and teach sustainable agriculture practices, and I hope to keep in touch with him to potentially do my final project with him in Loma Bonita studying the process of promoting sustainable agriculture practices.

One of my favorite memories was during my last night in Loma Bonita. I was playing with all the kids in one of their rooms and Ilda was determined to teach me Panamanian songs. The younger kids were eager to help, but none of them knew the words as well as she did so they all just lay on their stomachs on the bed and clapped along. That image of Ilda singing some song about a “pollito” while the others lay across from her, clapping completely out of time with goofy smiles on their faces is one that I will always remember. Shortly after, Senai got bored and to keep her from crying I invited her to dance with me. And we danced and danced and danced and all the adults laughed and clapped along and it was amazing to realize that this incredible family had so openly accepted me into their lives.

That night we stayed up late talking until the “moto” ran out of gas. The next morning we went to the Casa de Cultura down the hill and listened to traditional music and danced together wearing skirts from “la pollera” (the traditional Panamanian dress for celebrations). 

 It was incredibly sad to say goodbye to this family that had welcomed me so wholeheartedly and taught me so much. I left Loma Bonita with a slightly heavy heart, but also more awareness about the benefits and challenges of the lifestyle of rural Panamanian families, and relief in my ability to establish close relationships and improve my language skills. That family stole my heart and I am forever grateful to them for their kindness and all that they taught me. This experience reminded me that my Spanish skills have been shaped by multiple people who I will always remember whenever I use the phrases they taught me. Maybe that's why I enjoy the language so much, because of the relationships it has brought me.

Then we stayed in the village of Purio in the hot, flat Azuero peninsula for four days. It was frustrating to go from a community that was so welcoming and friendly to one that we barely had time to get to know and was not as open and warm as Loma Bonita. While in Purio, we all recovered from different stages of upset stomach, learned how to make caramel from cane sugar, picked corn, milked cows, and went to three different beaches. It was a nice break from the long days at Loma Bonita, but time to relax made me think of home and Loma Bonita and therefore very homesick and homestay-sick.

Our week back in Panama City has been busy, with lots of homework to make up for the weeks we will be spending in the field in March and April. Today, our Human Ecology class took an excursion to Casco Viejo (the old center of Panama City from when the Spanish controlled it) to see the juxtaposition of extreme poverty amidst touristy and affluent areas. It was shocking to compare the slums to the areas of Panama we had grown accustomed to, and interesting to hear of the history of how the slums formed and why they exist. Panama is such a melting pot of races, with dark-skinned people from the West Indies descended from the original laborers brought to construct the canal, indigenous people struggling to maintain control of their lands, Asian and Arab immigrants to start new businesses in the booming economy, American retirees, and Columbian and Nicaraguan immigrants to work as migrant workers in construction projects and agriculture. As a result, there has always been segregation in the country. I am curious to learn more about how this influx of different races has influenced Panama’s national identity, yet I am also excited and eager to leave the city and start doing tropical ecology and marine ecology field work.

It feels so satisfying to finally write this blog and catch up on everything I've been doing here! I’m sorry it’s such a long post! If you made it to the end, thank you and congrats! There will definitely be more to say about my experience in Panama City in the next few weeks, but for now I’m content to have recapped my travels from last week and need to get some sleep so that I can wake up early to go running tomorrow morning before class.

¡Hasta luego!