I just got back from going out to dinner at an amazing
Mexican restaurant in Panama City and I’m finally in a relaxed mood to update
this blog! Going out to eat was just what I needed. My friend and I spoke in
Spanish. I savored every wonderful spicy authentic Mexican food flavor of my
empanadas con frijoles. But most importantly, I finally felt that I live here,
and it was something more than knowing my way to the restaurant and speaking the
language. I believe it was the independence of our dinner. Most of the time in
SIT we travel as a group with pre-planned activities, which can start to feel a
little like a perpetual class field trip. Going off on our own helped me
finally feel like I lived here because it was something that I would do at home,
and I’ve learned that it’s always the little things you never thought you’d
miss that you miss the most about home.
For example, I miss non-Panamanian food more than I’d ever
imagined. I am glad I have tried traditional Panamanian food (it’s all I ate
last week during my rural homestay – which I promise I’ll get to describing
soon), but at this point I’m sorry to admit I am not a fan of “comida típica.”
Fried bread, oily tortillas, arroz con carne, sancocho (chicken soup). It often
feels like a contest to see who can eat the most carbs the fastest. The only
saving graces of Panamanian food I have found so far are yucca (when it’s not
fried, which is rare) and the fruit (pineapple, papaya, mandarins). Sadly
mangoes and avocados are not in season. Since I’ve had my share of Panamanian
food, I’ve had plenty of American food cravings: ice cream, chocolate, raw
vegetables, hummus. All of these are explainable and thank god for Deli Gourmet
which lets me satisfy these. However, I also really started craving toasted
bagels with cream cheese, something I don’t even like very much in the US,
which I can’t really explain and should try to avoid because I definitely do
not need to eat any other forms of toasted bread. I also am surprised by the
lack of beans in the Panamanian diet, which is disappointing. This brings me
back to how happily full I am right now after having refried beans with dinner
for the first time in a month!
Despite having been here for a month, there are still
moments when I find myself wondering what I’m doing sitting here sweating like
I just dove into a swimming pool and swatting at the mosquitoes who don’t seem
to understand that I’ve already coated myself in insect repellant (For the
record, I even have a mosquito bite on my eyelid - that mosquito deserves some
sort of award)! I definitely hit a wall of homesickness this weekend, but my
week in the rural village of Loma Bonita was absolutely incredible and I’m
excited to finally be in a good state of mind and have enough free time to
recount it.
I had no idea what to expect when our van of groggy students
pulled up to the little church in Loma Bonita last Saturday afternoon. The students sat on one side of the room. The
host families on the other. Slowly we were introduced and then suddenly an
elderly woman of about my height with a wrinkled round face and warm eyes was
helping me carry my daypack while I trekked alongside her carrying my backpack
up an endless hill. Thankfully we managed to catch a car (well, a pick-up truck
with a cloth covering and makeshift benches in the back) that took up all the
way up the hill to her house.
My homestay mother was María and she had five children and eight
grandchildren. She had spent her whole life living in Loma Bonita, and her
whole family still lived on the same hillside, with the exception of a few
children who had moved to Panama City to find work. They lived very simple lives, in a house built of rock by
María’s late husband, with no electricity during the day and only a small “moto”
to run one light and a tiny television for a few hours at night. Here you can
see the kitchen, where I became accustomed to eating traditional Panamanian
food (especially exorbitant amounts of rice) while studying the trail of ants
meandering up the wall in front of the table.
This was the view from their porch, which was always
beautiful.
Then there were the multitude of chickens, chicks, dogs,
puppies, bunnies, doves, and one horse that also lived with them. The chicks
would walk everywhere – I often found myself eating lunch with chicks chirping
at my feet. The funniest thing they did was that one night I saw a chick
standing on top of the pile of sleeping puppies to eat bugs off of them. It
looked quite adorable, despite probably being uncomfortable for the puppies.
They were so eager to get to know me just as they were eager
to share their lives with me. We spent a good amount of time looking through my
photo album of pictures from home and I enjoyed telling them about my family,
friends, hometown, university, and New York City.
Only after I left did I realize how
incredibly kind and welcoming they were to want to know as much as they could
about my life and to be willing to fully accept me into theirs.
This was my bedroom, which was very nice since all other
members of the family shared beds and some kids even slept on two chairs pushed
together with a pillow on top. I later learned that this was the bedroom of the
oldest grandson, Samuel, who was 13 years old and imitated everything his Uncle
Hil (Hilberto) did because he rode a motorcycle, traveled long distances every
day to work in the city of Coclé, and was basically the epitome of a “cool
uncle.” Samuel helped me make a family tree on the first night I stayed there.
I was journaling in my room with a pink Madagascar movie-themed pencil given to
me by one of the kids when my pen ran out of ink, when suddenly the two little
girls walked in with a hot pink electronic “diario” and asked me to put in my
name and address and email and phone number into their fake contact book and
then play a treasure hunt video game with them. At some point they got bored of
the game and started asking me questions and I took the opportunity to ask them
things as well. What’s your favorite color? What games do you like to play? What’s
your favorite food? It was at this point where I suddenly was no longer tired
and anxious to finish journaling because I was learning a lot just by talking
with them, and the older girl was very patient with me and would repeat words
that I told her I didn’t recognize. When we got to the favorite food question
the younger girl started telling me about how she loves “emme-emmes.” I asked
her what they were and she started describing colorful pieces of chocolate with
soft chocolate inside. I got excited and started to take out the book where I write
down new vocab words. I told her I couldn’t wait to try this Panamanian candy and
I asked her how to spell it. She just looked at me blankly before repeating, “emme-emmes.”
And then it hit me. She was describing M&Ms. I had a lot to learn.
At that moment, Samuel returned from his day trip to Coclé
with his uncle and joined the fiesta in my room. Then we went through the whole
family tree because I was having trouble remembering everyone’s names. They all have shortened names, and then nicknames on top of that (for instance Ilda was also called Nena), which was very confusing with eight little kids with multiple names running around!
María’s children from oldest to youngest are Mierna, Tony,
Jessica, Hilberto, and Maribel. Mierna was Samuel’s mother and also the mother
of Titi and Eli (two adorable little five-ish year olds), and they all lived in
the back room of María’s house (which had a second kitchen and a concrete
playroom for the kids). Tony was married to Raquel and was the father of Chacho
(a quiet, adorable little boy around 6 years-old), and they lived together just
downhill in a two room concrete house with the horse tethered to a tree just
outside. Jessica was the mother of Ilda (a thoughtful and patient eight
year-old, who would often grab my hand and lead me somewhere saying “Come, I’ll
teach you!”) and Tito (an adorable but often whiney little boy around two years
old, Ilda always held his hand wherever they went). Maribel was the youngest
daughter of María and was only 21 years old but had a three year old daughter,
Senai, who had endless energy and courage, but also was the biggest
trouble-maker I’ve ever met. I saw Maribel and Mierna’s husband’s on occasion,
but they worked so far away (because there are no jobs in Loma Bonita so the
men always travel far away to work) that they were rarely home. Finally, there
was Angi, a seven year old girl who knew how to get her way but was also Ilda’s
best friend. I’m still not sure who her parents were but she lived with her
grandma so I think there was another child of María working in the city that I
never met. Here are some pictures of all of my wonderful Loma Bonita family!
From left to right: Senai, Angi, and Ilda while we were playing cards. They always asked me why I smiled in pictures.
Ilda, me, Chacho, and Maribel when we went to help sort the garbage we collected.
From left to right: Jessica (back) holding Tito, Mierna, me, Ilda, Eli, Titi, and Angi
From left to right: Samuel (back), Titi (sitting on the railing), Angi, Eli, and Ilda
The next morning, I made tortillas, bollos (tortillas rolled and wrapped in sugar cane leaves for flavor) and coffee with María and
Mierna, and they were very eager to help me take pictures and were extremely
proud of the “natural” process of making them, and rightfully so.
The dough for the tortillas was nothing more
than cooked corn ground up with some salt. Despite repetitive foods, everything
was directly from the backyard, with the exception of the rice. I have never
had fresher, yellower eggs before I came there.
Each sister also had their own craft to sell. Maribel taught
me how to make earrings from empty beer can tops, Mierna showed me how to make
little bunnies out of cloth to mount on soap dispensers, and I ended up buying
a hand-knit purse made by Jessica using empty beer can tops. María was adamant
and patient about teaching me how to “tejer” (weave). They use this pattern
with a certain plant to make Panama hats and also bracelets. It was very had
but I quickly learned that “suelto” meant “loose” and I found myself repeating
her instructions to myself under my breath in Spanish as I tried to make my
weaving pattern tighter.
While I learned a lot from my host mother and her grown
children, the little kids were incredible friends and teachers during that week
and I cannot thank them enough. Samuel got a popular “plena” (the Panamanian
word for reggaeton) song stuck in my head by singing it over and over again.
Angi helped me remember the word “contraseñas” (password) by always asking me
to play with her electronic diary. Ilda taught me the word “foco” (flashlight)
during our late night conversations.
Senai helped me practice informal commands: “Don’t jump on the bed! Share
with the others! Play nicely! Come over here! Give me the stick…” I was most
amazed at how freely and creatively they used a combination of old toys,
sticks, and even parts of the house to entertain themselves. At some point on
the second day, I was overwhelmed when the kids started chasing the chickens
around, and one was crying because someone had stolen her stick, and another was
screaming, and another was stomping on the ground to herd the chickens and I
just wandered off into my room to try and regain my sanity. After that María
suggested we go visit some other students who lived uphill and it was the best
idea she could have had. Seeing them and sharing stories of confusion and
hysterical miscommunications was just the pick-me-up I needed to refresh myself
for the rest of the week.
It was also
touching to realize that the kids all really liked me as they flocked around me
and constantly wanted to show me things or ask me questions.
We walked back to their house in the pitch
darkness with María and I carrying flashlights, and at one point I happened to
look up and see the incredible starry night sky above. For me the stars hold
many nostalgic memories, from high school, college, and home, and to see them
more brilliantly than ever before here in the rural highlands of Panama was
incredible. I told this to Maribel and she immediately suggested I take a
photo. I told her it probably wouldn’t come out, but she had complete faith in
the magical ability of my camera’s flash function. I can’t get myself to delete
this picture because it reminds me of how caring Maribel was that
she would spend a good five minutes straining her neck to try to take pictures
of stars for me, all while Senai clung to her back and protested the sudden
change in incline.
I never thought a picture of a single bright squiggle would bring me so much joy.
Then we left Loma Bonita for a quick trip to Penonomé to
celebrate Carnival. There are no words to describe that day except “completamente
loco.” I still can’t believe Carnival celebrations continue for four straight
days and nights! I was finished with my share of Carnival after just a few hours.
Here is a picture of the crowd we were in during the “mojadera” (a giant street
fair where people line up in crowds packed like sardines to dance and get
soaked by giant water trucks). The parade afterwards was nice to see the
traditional masks that they make for the celebration, as well as the intricate
float designs for the queens who are selected for each town to lead the Carnival
celebrations. Our day at Carnival was exhausting, but was great to immerse
ourselves in one of the most iconic celebrations of Panama.
Afterwards, we returned to Loma Bonita and remained there
for three more days, picking up garbage with the community (there is no garbage
disposal so littering is a huge problem), swimming in waterfalls, and spending
more time with our families.
We learned about the hydroelectric dams that were
planning on building new dams on the rivers that brought fish through the
community and the resulting protests to prevent such construction. We also heard more of the history of the community and how increasing globalization and modernization had shrunk the
number of residents, as more and more people left in search of work in cities.
During that time I also got better at weaving, helped Maribel and Hil pick “toronjas”
(grapefruits), and talked with my host family about topics from the economy and
government of Panama, to the “I Love Lucy” television show they always watched
at night.
I also met one of their neighbors, Mariano, who told me about his
involvement in Sustainable Harvest International, a program to promote and
teach sustainable agriculture practices, and I hope to keep in touch with him
to potentially do my final project with him in Loma Bonita studying the process
of promoting sustainable agriculture practices.
One of my favorite memories was during my last night in Loma
Bonita. I was playing with all the kids in one of their rooms and Ilda was determined
to teach me Panamanian songs. The younger kids were eager to help, but none of
them knew the words as well as she did so they all just lay on their stomachs
on the bed and clapped along. That image of Ilda singing some song about a “pollito”
while the others lay across from her, clapping completely out of time with
goofy smiles on their faces is one that I will always remember. Shortly after,
Senai got bored and to keep her from crying I invited her to dance with me. And
we danced and danced and danced and all the adults laughed and clapped along
and it was amazing to realize that this incredible family had so openly
accepted me into their lives.
That night we stayed up late talking until the “moto” ran
out of gas. The next morning we went to the Casa de Cultura down the hill and
listened to traditional music and danced together wearing skirts from “la
pollera” (the traditional Panamanian dress for celebrations).
It was incredibly sad to say goodbye to this
family that had welcomed me so wholeheartedly and taught me so much. I left
Loma Bonita with a slightly heavy heart, but also more awareness about the
benefits and challenges of the lifestyle of rural Panamanian families, and
relief in my ability to establish close relationships and improve my language
skills. That family stole my heart and I am forever grateful to them for their kindness and all that they taught me.
This experience reminded me that my Spanish skills have been shaped by multiple people who I will always remember whenever I use the phrases they taught me. Maybe that's why I enjoy the language so much, because of the relationships it has brought me.
Then we stayed in the village of Purio in the hot, flat
Azuero peninsula for four days. It was frustrating to go from a community that
was so welcoming and friendly to one that we barely had time to get to know and
was not as open and warm as Loma Bonita. While in Purio, we all recovered from
different stages of upset stomach, learned how to make caramel from cane sugar,
picked corn, milked cows, and went to three different beaches. It was a nice break from the long
days at Loma Bonita, but time to relax made me think of home and Loma Bonita
and therefore very homesick and homestay-sick.
Our week back in Panama City has been busy, with lots of
homework to make up for the weeks we will be spending in the field in March and
April. Today, our Human Ecology class took an excursion to Casco Viejo (the old
center of Panama City from when the Spanish controlled it) to see the
juxtaposition of extreme poverty amidst touristy and affluent
areas. It was shocking to compare the slums to the areas of Panama we had grown
accustomed to, and interesting to hear of the history of how the slums formed
and why they exist. Panama is such a melting pot of races, with dark-skinned
people from the West Indies descended from the original laborers brought to
construct the canal, indigenous people struggling to maintain control of their
lands, Asian and Arab immigrants to start new businesses in the booming
economy, American retirees, and Columbian and Nicaraguan immigrants to work as
migrant workers in construction projects and agriculture. As a result, there has always been segregation in the country. I am
curious to learn more about how this influx of
different races has influenced Panama’s national identity, yet I am also
excited and eager to leave the city and start doing tropical ecology and marine
ecology field work.
It feels so satisfying to finally write this blog and catch up on everything I've been doing here! I’m sorry it’s such a long post! If you made it to the end, thank
you and congrats! There will definitely be more to say about my experience in
Panama City in the next few weeks, but for now I’m content to have recapped my
travels from last week and need to get some sleep so that I can wake up early
to go running tomorrow morning before class.
¡Hasta luego!
